***** Positive Thinking, Happy Living

Perfectionism is kind of like too much of a good thing. It's good to be interested in excellence, but when you feel that your work (or relationship) has to be perfect you are saddling yourself with a burden you don't need, a burden that can effect every area of your life. You won't be able to please yourself at work or at home because nothing and no one are ever perfect.

Perfectionism can lead to isolation for various reasons. You won't want to let people get too close to you lest they perceive your short-comings. This leaves you without alliances, and out of the loop.

What popped into your mind when you read that title?

If you're like most of us, someone specific came to mind, some event, something dreadful someone did to you once long or ago, or even just today. Maybe this occurred at work, or at a business, or at home.

Perhaps you have several things on your list. You may have even more than that. Some of us can go back to grade school.

Think back for a moment on the major disappointments in your life. The reason they're disappointments is because they didn't live up to your expectations. You had something in mind that didn't happen, or you wanted something you didn't get. You also had made up your mind - if you think about it - that it was going to be horrible if you didn't get it.

You wanted the job and you didn't get it, so you were disappointed. If you hadn't wanted the job, you would've been overjoyed not to get it!

Keely is 30 and has been married for about 6 months. Last time we talked, she was expressing dissatisfaction with the man she'd married. They had disagreements over political issues that were influencing where they shopped, where he worked, and what TV shows they watched. She was wondering if she should've gotten married at all.

"Why did you marry him?" I asked her, and there was a long silence. Finally, "Because I was in love with him?" she
replied, and it came out as a question. "I guess I never thought about that," she added.