Life After A Break Up

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When a relationship breaks down it can be one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. It is very hard to let go of the ones we love and to face the prospects of life without someone we may have become dependent on. It is especially difficult when you are the one who was dumped. In all cases, ending a relationship comes with many emotional challenges, and it is best to have a strategy to deal with those challenges.

It is important to mourn the loss once a relationship has ended. But don't get into the blame game of blaming yourself or another for why things went wrong. Sometimes relationships don't work out and that is just a fact of life. Blaming yourself can be especially damaging and times of emotional duress. It is important to mourn your loss, but don't let yourself dwell on it and isolate yourself from the rest of the world. It would be wise to remove pictures and reminders of your former partner after a brief period of mourning.

One of the important things to remember about life is that it is always in a state of change. When one relationship ends, new potentials open up. It is important to recognize that the end of her relationship is necessary for the beginning of a new one. Don't let yourself get caught believing that you have let the one perfect person get away. Chances are you'll meet somebody again, but in order for that to happen you'll need to keep a positive mental attitude.

After a breakup and is a great time to rekindle friendships and spend time with family. During relationships many of our friendships get put on the back burner as we spend time with our significant others. Friends and family will help you through your difficult emotional times. However, it is essential not to rely on them to be your shoulder to cry on. Don't let yourself get caught up in letting someone else be an emotional release for you that causes you to further dwell on your pain and sorrow. Many times people allow themselves to spend a great deal of time crying on the shoulder of a supportive person who is eager for friendship. Don't let this happen to you. It is not a way to establish strong friendships and it is not healthy.

Reestablishing your independence is essential after a breakup. This is why it's important to go out with friends and meet new people. Also, you should be prepared to try things you may not have tried in the past. Challenge yourself. Make it fun. Consider doing that thing you've always wondered about but have never actually pursued. Start new activities. Confront the fears that have kept you from joining activities in the past, and embrace your new freedom.

Self-esteem can take a beating during the course of a relationship and a breakup. It is essential to build your self-esteem when you are in the difficult early stages of a breakup. One great way to build your self-esteem is to exercise. Simply stated, if you are not exercising you are not trying hard to get over your loss. Exercise has a tremendous effect on attitude and mental well-being. If you don't exercise regularly, get up right now go out and start exercising. It will make you feel better and take your mind off of the difficult things going on around you.

Another way to build self-esteem is to treat yourself to something you haven't been able to treat yourself to before. It may be buying clothes or taking a vacation. It is important not to deny yourself of the things you want during this time. That doesn't mean to recklessly spend money, but it doesn't hurt to indulge yourself a little, provided it takes your mind off of negative thoughts.

In order to be a happy person, it is always essential to have a positive attitude. Sometimes during the course of a breakup this may seem impossible. However, the reason it is sometimes impossible for people is because they are unable to control their thoughts and keep their mind focused on more productive, positive thoughts. Exercise, friends and family, new activities, treating yourself to new things; these are all good ideas to help you keep your mind focused and a more positive productive direction.

But if you are still having difficulty focusing your mind on positive thoughts it is probably a good time to try something like auto suggestion. Auto suggestion is the process of telling yourself things over and over again, repeating them so that your subconscious mind can act on them. Simply stated we tend to believe what we tell ourselves over and over again. One of the major problems people have after a breakup is that they tell themselves that they are distraught, that they have made a big mistake, that they will never find love again, or that they will never have the happiness that has just passed by. The combination of these negative suggestions to the subconscious creates an overwhelming feeling of despair. It is essential to disrupt this pattern if you are having difficulty focusing your energies and thoughts and positive directions. This pattern is not difficult to break if you have the discipline to say to yourself over and over again simple messages that reaffirm your self-worth. Every morning when you wake up tell yourself that you are a good person and attractive person someone who deserves joy and happiness and someone who will soon find that. Repeat these types of positive messages to yourself over and over again. Tell yourself that you will not dwell on negative emotions and thoughts. Say it out loud. By repeating positive reinforcing messages to yourself, your subconscious and will allow you to better control your thoughts.

Break ups are a difficult emotional experience, but if they are handled properly they do not have to be something that can scar someone for life. Unfortunately since many people fail to control their thoughts and focus their energy positively, they make the emotional trauma of the breakup much worse than it needs to be.

About The Author:

Dexter Stoakley maintains a website dedicated to relationship and dating advice. It can be found at:

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