Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Meeting New People?

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The ability to make a great first impression is a valuable life skill that can help you to have all you want in life - in business and socially.

As you improve your people skills you can expect greater happiness, more success and an abundance of opportunities for personal growth. That is, once you have identified and eliminated the most common barriers to great conversation.

Let´s identify the five common mistakes people make when meeting new people.

1. Trying too hard to be liked

Although we all want to be liked, ironically, the worst way to win approval is to desperately need it. When you are too needy it repels people. They sense that you do not value yourself and as a result they are more likely to treat you harshly.

Thankfully there is a solution. The more you love and approve of yourself the more others will tend to like you.

People reflect back what you feel about yourself so make a point of building your self-esteem and notice the positive change in how pleased people are to meet you.

2. Pretending to be something you are not

In our efforts to impress new people it can be tempting to suddenly reinvent ourselves so as to make a good first impression. This tactic rarely works because it is very difficult to project a false persona unless you are a very good actor.

Very often all that happens is that you feel tense and under pressure to play the role you have invented while the other person is unable to trust you. Invariably you fail to make a good first impression and even risk making a fool of yourself.

It is far better to be natural and to express your true personality. When you do so with confidence others will be much more likely to accept and like you for who you really are.

Think about it.

It is much easier to like and respect someone who is genuine and honest about who they are. In fact being authentic is one of the most attractive qualities you can develop.

3. Prejudging the other person

We all do it at times. We take one look at someone and decide before even talking to him what kind of person he is.

Call it mind reading if you like but making such assumptions and pre judements can severely affect how much fun you have meeting new people.

This attitude can stop you from approaching people, cause you to miss out on making new friends and make it difficult for new people to get your undivided attention when getting to know you.

A more practical approach is to allow each person the opportunity to speak before you decide what the person is all about. And make sure to switch off your assumptions for a moment to really listen to what is being said.

4. Talking too much and not listening

Sometimes because of nerves it can be tempting to keep talking to ensure there are no awkward silences. The trouble with this habit is that eventually you stop listening when the other person is speaking because you use that times to think of what to say next.

Let the other person share the load. Give her an opportunity to lead the conversation, listen closely to what is said and then develop the conversation based on what she has contributed.

When you do this, meeting new people is a lot less stressful -- making conversation becomes a team effort rather than a struggle to keep talking.

5. Letting the other person control the conversation

When you meet someone for the first time it is reasonable to expect some breaks in the conversation until you discover topics of common interest.

Remaining passive during these pauses means waiting for the other person to either drive the conversation forward or end it. If you adopt this attitude you are giving up control of the conversation.

Take back control. You can do this in two ways: either ask questions to move the dialogue along or be adventurous and introduce new topics of conversation. You will be more relaxed when you notice how much control you really have.

And if all else fails bear in mind it is also your choice whether to continue or wrap up the conversation.

Start acting on these five key distinctions today and notice how much easier and more enjoyable it can be meeting new people.

About the Author:

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.conversationtalk.com/

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