Are We Our Own Worst Enemy?

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Dr. Phil says each of us has a personal "truth" -what we believe of ourselves when no one else is looking-- and from this come results in our lives that are in keeping with that truth.

Let's call it our "opinions" of ourselves. They take many forms, we have an opinion of ourselves in every aspect of our lives, how we look, how well we speak, think, walk, work, dress, make love, treat others, etc., etc. These opinions, not being obvious, require some honest inward thinking (introspection) to ascertain their nature.

One of the best clues we can use to recognize the nature of these opinions is to first look at the results. Do we dress in a sloppy way because we believe we don't deserve to look neat? Do we avoid applying for that better job because we believe we don't measure up? Do we refrain from asking that attractive person for a date because we believe we are not attractive enough? Do we not speak out because we believe our thoughts are not interesting to others?

Beliefs, though natural and not dictated by our conscious minds, can be changed. Opinions are formed by observed evidence so all we need to do is provide some evidence to the contrary and our natural common sense takes over and makes the change for the better.

We probably can't make a sweeping change over night but why not a little at a time? Choose some aspect of your life that you think might be held back by a poor opinion and decide that you want to change it. Maybe you are overweight because you believe deep down that you can't lose any weight. Pick a small goal like losing five pounds. Just do it, find a way. There! You just proved you can and your natural sense believes the evidence. Now you know you can. Look around at work. Ask for more responsibility or volunteer for extra duties or tasks. Do a good job on these and there! You've proved to yourself that you are more capable. Find some time to get some daily exercise and you'll be surprised at how confidently you'll walk and even actually feel. (This deserves a separate report).

Choose any aspect of your life and make a small positive change. Just like that you've reversed a negative belief, turned around, and moved in a desirable direction. Now make multiple small changes and sooner or later there can be a big change, just as a bricklayer builds a structure brick by brick.

It takes time and effort to effect changes but don't you personally deserve some? (This could be the first and best change in your self-opinions).

Your reward can be a real makeover. Small changes multiplied over and over can add up to big changes. With better self-opinions comes better results which in turn leads to a better life--a new you!

(c) Vincent R. Moloney MD - All rights reserved

Love to learn how to play music? Gain the knowledge you need to cut out most of the drudgery of endless practice. Dr. Moloney is a retired Family Practitioner who has had a lifelong interest in music and teaching. Empower yourself to take charge of your learning by studying his E-book.

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